Cyclic Insomaniac

I’m not a morning person. I hate waking up before the sun rises. I hate it when the world is still dark and I had to get up for whatever reason I need to get up and start the day early. Fortunately, that doesn’t happen often. I don’t mind waking up not too early, to start my day right, but I feel so much more active when I am at night. I feel like the day just started when night falls. I feel like I have so much potential to do so many things when the sun goes down. I do feel tired from time to time, especially a long day at work. I sometimes crave to sleep early and get a good night’s rest. But everytime I do that, I can’t help but feel that it is just another wasted opportunity for me to do something that I would truly enjoy at night.

Night, with its peace and quite, is just simply beautiful. Being alone, hearing nothing but the calmness of the night is where I truly belong.

Occasionally, I get insomnia. Not bad ones. Thinking a lot sometimes, but other times, I just find it hard to sleep, taking an unusually long time to really fall asleep. Tossing and turning. Thinking. Plotting. Imagining. Fantasizing. And then I will fall asleep. Only to realise that a new day awaits. You felt like you just took a nap. But you don’t feel sleepy at all. Mentally tired, but nothing a good cup of coffee can break the exhaustion for the day ahead. And then it repeats for a few nights. It goes on every now and then. I sleep well for a period of time, and then I am as awake as an owl at night. Feeling productive, I do all sorts of things at night. Quiet things. Read, write, watch. Read ferociously. Till its past my bedtime. Past the number of hours of sleep required for a good night’s rest. Feeling grouchy the next day. Coffee in the morning. More coffee in the afternoon. Crash. Rinse. Repeat.

I dream almost every day. Vivid ones, fuzzy ones. But most of the time, I dream till I wake up. It’s like I have a second life. The moment my eyes close, the other life begins to stir. Never ending stream of visions passing right past being my eyelids. And then the alarm goes off. I open my eyes, waking up and seeing the world grounded in reality. I always see things, whether in dreams or in wakefulness. Rare do I sleep soundly where there is no visions, no dreams. Just sleep. Nightmares are rare thankfully. But some of them can be vivid, exciting and tense. Sometimes I wake up feeling like I just ran a marathon. My brain never resting. Always processing things 24/7.

I am a light sleeper most of the time. I wake up before my alarm goes off. I wake up when I hear the dogs barking on the street below when the owners were walking them. I wake up when two old ladies are having animated conversations after their morning exercise. I wake up when I hear the bathroom being used by my dad, getting ready for work. He goes to work earlier than I do. I hear all sorts of things before actually waking up from my alarm, because the world is already awake before I do. And thats a good thing. It means I wake up when the sun is already up.

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Post graduation BBQ chalet

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It was a success, even though we planned a little late and did not manage to reserve the ideal chalet, we still had a lot of fun and the turn-out was good. Slightly more than 20 people came for the chalet and it was a good turnout, since we predicted and bought food for 20 people. In the end, the amount of food ordered for everyone was just right and the crowd was perfect that everyone had a great time. We initially invited more than 40 people to the event, but it is understandable that not everyone could come down for the BBQ and Chalet stay over, since we organised and plan the event a mere 2 weeks before.

I stayed overnight for the chalet and when most of my friends ┬áhave left, we were left about 11 of us staying over. It was a great and fun night. We played lots of stuff and did stupid things. Things like long exposure light art, writing the words “graduation” and “grad loh” and “SBS 2013” using the flashlight from our smartphones and sparklers that we bought and lit up. I bought a number of board games as well and we played till we were crazy. It was one of the most fun nights I ever had. And I get to enjoy it with the company of some of the great friends in NTU. I truly regard them who were there that night to be my great friends. Friends I will never forget and I hope we remain as good friends no matter what.

That night, was the night that clearly sealed the fact we felt almost inseparable and infinite. Just like the movie, “Perks of being a Wallflower”, there were moments that day where I couldn’t care less what happens next after we leave the chalet the following morning. I just feel like I want to enjoy and treasure the moment, that particular moment with them. The moment where nothing matters. Just me and them. The feeling of being infinite. That night was truly magical for me. For the first time, I get to spend it with the one I admire most…

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