Concerned

Im very concerned about many things lately.

First of all, im concerned about my class. I hate my class. They are so noisy and roudy. We recently shifted to a new container makeshift classroom, because my previous class room is under massive reconstruction. And you know that the container has a lot of echo. Add that to the noise and what do you get, a chaotic class. They also made teachers mad and frustrated at them. What can i do to stop it!? Im powerless! I hate my class!!!!

Next, my Drum Major. Ok i admit, i dont quite have a solid relationship as a friend, but he is having frequent asthma attacks lately. Everytime I see him in the morning or during breaks, I see him gasping for breath. I feel truly sorry for him and his parents as they had divorced. Im sure that he is feeling rather traumatic about this experience.

Next, just today, a fight. A FIGHT!! In class. A classmate of mine just leashes out his anger onto another classmate and they were hammering each other. It was chaotic. He just couldnt control himself when he is angry or when someone teases him badly. He has such an agressive and vengeful behaviour that i find it stupid to fight in class over small matters. And its not only one person he fought. He fought with 2 other classmates in my class! Completely absurd and dumb. I already told him to ignore those who teases him and proact instead of react, just go with the flow, laugh together but he has such a vengeful thinking that its uncontrollable. And it gets worse, I sit beside him everyday. Such complete humiliation.

Next another of my classmate, a girl, who is obsessed with netball, which is her CCA. She was admitted to hospital recently and yesterday, she has a severe migrain and amnesia (?). My point is, she has been having academic problems, BGR problems, and her health is deteriorating. She always practise netball and attended training almost everyday and some of my friends said that she is concentrating too much on netball. When we tried to talk to her and how to solve her problems, she refused to listen! Thinking that netball has nothing got to do with her problems, she refused to listen. Now, look what happened, she has been getting sick and her result are getting worse. I am truly concerned about her. Hope she listens before she regrets..

More are coming i presume………

Long time no see…..

Well, its been a long time since I last wrote. I am very busy with school work and CCA, band. Third week being a Band Major if im not wrong. It has been tough nevertheless. Let’s see what I have done this past week…..

I served detention for the first time in my secondary school life!! This is absurd! I did not do my duties according to the Head Prefect. By the way, I’m also a prefect in my school and in my life, i never, NEVER skipped a single duty! I served detention for 2 hours. What a jerk! sitting there, doing nothing. This is a complete waste of time. Anyway, after Teacher’s day, that is on the 1st of September, I think I’ll resign. I cant take the stress of it any longer! My shoulders has like a thousand tons of R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y. Now i just put that incident aside and on to my other issues..

My common test is over, and I’m not too happy about my results. I havent gotten my math results yet. I failed my second language and English!! What a disgrace!! I can never fail at least one subject! Its either this or that. Im quite happy with my Science and Accounts. I got great grades!

Well, I dont have much to say. I’ll come back to ya soon!

Uneventful Day

Today I had an terrible day. So many bad things happen today. This is my story:

The day before, I opened up the band store using the key provided by the teacher. I couldnt find any teacher and my members kept pestering me to open up the store. I had group study later in the afternoon, so i waited for the teacher. At last the teacher came and I ask for the keys. I immediately open the door and kept the key. Then I rushed for my group study. After my group study which ended at about 5.30 pm, I went back home without locking the door of the store and returning the key! I realized my mistake when I reached home. NO one is allowed to bring back home the band store key. I was so desperate.

The next morning, I tried to open the door early to avoid the others and drum major knowing that I brought back the keys. But to my astonishment, there was a padlock on the door! I knew from then on that I was doomed. They knew that I forgot to lock the door and used a padlock instead. I tried to see the teacher but since it was early in the morning, she was not there. Then the drum major arrived and asked me for the key.
Hoping that he would understand my situation I explained what happen. But to my surprise, he did not supported me or console me or even advised me. Instead, he mocked and laughed and saying that I was doomed! What an asshole! A good friend of mine doing this to me. Im new in this field and i tend to make mistakes and he cant possibly to that to someone. I was SO ANGRY but I contained it.

The teacher came late, so we couldnt play our National Anthem on that day. I came to see the teacher and apologized and she forgive me since this is my first time. The whole band can’t play National Anthem because of me. I felt soo bad. I feel even worse when my friend, THE band major came up to me time and again to demoralize and discourage me. He simply doesnt know when is the right time to joke and be serious. He came from a broken family recently and some of my good friends came to console him and tell him again and again not to give up when times are tough. We gave him so much advice and this is how he repay me!!

WE majors are supposed to be united and one. When one of the major have a problem, the other majors will be affected too. He just pushed the blame on me on any mistakes i do. Im solo!!

Even the promotion ceremony, I PLANNED EVERYTHING. He doesnt do anything. My teacher scolded me 2 days before the promotion ceremony because the comittees havent planned anything for the ceremony. I was left there with the teacher, explaining everything, while he just sits at one corner. He is such a “unique” friend.

A friend who takes you for granted, demoralize you, mock you and discourage you and bully you when he has an opportuniy. A friend whose emotions control him, he who explodes when he is angry, puts blame one others.

A Personal Letter From My Previous Band Major

Nur Ayuni Affandi Salleh
Band Major (2001-2002)
Northland Secondary School Symphonic Band

8th August 2002

Muhammad Jasrie
Band Major (2002-2003)
Northland Secondary School Symphonic Band

Dear Jasrie

First of all, congratulations on your promotion to this prestigious post as the 7th batch of Band Major. I would not fool you by saying that this post is an easy one, trust me as it requires much more than just physical labour. Since you are the most important and influential person in the band, therefore, you need a lot of courage and patience!

This post carries more responsibility than any other post in the band. Not only do you have to do administration works, but also tasks that are usually handled by the teachers. At times, you may be a bit unsure when wishing up your mind to make decisions. So whenever, you come across this type of situation, always think what is best for the band, and DO NOT make decisions of the band’s choice. Always make decisions by yourself. If you need some opinions, helps and also advices, you can always call your ex-majors up to seek for some fruitful advice.

Since you are the leader of the band, members will tend to automatically look up to you for guidance and also answers that they seek for. Very often there will be lots of disagreements between you and the members.
(especially seniors and committees) and also not forgetting the teachers. But no matter what, just hold you head high and don’t get easily upset by all these things. Its part of learning. You are the Band Major, you should assert authority at the right time and DO NO let anyone over-rule you except for the teachers and instructors. However, should you be making any mistakes, don’t hesitate to apologise. People do make mistakes… including a Band Major.

During the early stage of the Band Major’s life, you might have ease co-operating with members. But as time pass by, you might not be able to take the stress that the members pushed to you. At this moment, you have to be strong and instill the confidence in yourself. Once the confidence is in your soul, it will remain where it is. Don’t ever think that you are new and have no power. You MUST BE ABLE to undertake the stress as a Band Major. Band teacher are quite a problem at times but ALWAYS remember, NEVER and NEVER contradict with the teachers but compromise and compensate.

As a Band Major, it is your responsibility to improve the band as well as music wise of the band too. Since we got a silver medal 2 years ago, I just hope that the band can keep the title. I know it is now easy to control or make the members practice on their own. But always remember… be firm and strict always. the most important thing is, believe in yourself.

You must always remember that you, as a Band Major, represent the band. You are the symbol of how succesful the band can be and the standard of discipline the band has. Always organize things way before hand. Do not come out with a very rush idea. Have a small notebook, especially for your reference. Have you own Band Major file, meaning your personal file for the band.

Jas… next year is a very big year for the band. I hope that you have realized it long before hand. Therefore you really have to work hard. Come for FREQUENT SECTIONAL PRACTICE. I know its not easy to juggle well with both your studies and as a Band Major. No matter what, studies comes first ok! Do not be like me.. spend too much time in band and also too stressed up, until my studies go down the drain. I don’t wish this to happen to you.

Some tips for you to learn here. Try to establish a good relationship with everyone in the band, especially the committees as they are the ones who are going to work and co-operate with you. In this way, your job will be easier. Respect comes in both ways. If you respect them, they will also respect you in the same manner. When you go for NCO Camp, make as many friends as possible as you could benefit from it.

Don’t ever lose faith on yourself, because if you did you have lost. We do not have to a gold band, but a good band.
Sincerely… hope that this letter has got some use to you. My hopes for the band are all on your shoulders. Best of all juniors… Take care Jas.

Yours Truly

Nur Ayuni
Saxophone Section
Band Major (2001-2002)

What a Dilemma!

Everything around me seems to fall apart piece by piece…

Tommorrow is my big day, being officially promoted to Band Major. Oh I just hoped that everything runs smoothly on the day itself, cause all the planning was done last minute. I just hoped that the people in-charge in one part of the ceremony knows what he or she is doing. Haiz… Am I truly a good Band Major? Will people look down on me when i make a mistake? What level of standard should I show to the members? Furthermore, i have my studies to think about, 5 project with all the same datelines, which is due next Friday, and tommorrow is the eve of National Day.

I have a doctor’s appointment tommorrow and my friends are watching a movie after the ceremony. Tommorrow is my friend’s birthday so now I can’t watch the movie with them. What a dilemma and a dissapointment and a HUGE SACRIFICE! My friends are dissapointed because I can’t hang out with them. Oh well, this is what Band Majors are for, sacrifice your time to anybody who sees fit. Life sucks for me. Im constantly on a watch, every action I take, any move I make will affect everything.

I just got my report Card. To me my results seemed normal like any other results I had. Ive improved on my Math and Accounts but still, my parents were not happy with it! I failed my Second Language which has become a norm for me and now they are thinking of sending me to a private tutor just to improve my Second Language. COME ON!! Do I have the time to attend these night classes? I go back at around 6 pm almost everyday now, because of remedials, projects, band and so many other things. Im like working from 6 am to 6 pm, 12 hours!!

I wonder how the members would think of me as a Band Major? Would they accept me wholeheartedly or will they talk behind my back? It depends I think. Gosh, I have to start reading “7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens” again. Its fun to read though. I life changeing experience I would say.

Right now Im worried about my academics. I find it difficult to cope with my studies and band with such new and heavy responsibilities.

Another problem is that my Drum Major, my friend seems to make cloudy judgements based on his emotions. He tends to let his emotions control him and that is very bad for a leader. A leader must never show any negative emotions and personal problems when making judgements. Recently, I had a long lecture with my teacher because we have not started planning for the promotion ceremony and only started on monday. While I get all the scoldings from my teacher, my friend, Drum Major, just sits at one corner pretending to do something else! I take all the blame, and he just sits there doing nothing. He was supposed to support me or cushion me somehow and take some of the blame as he is experienced in being Drum Major. He was also involved in the planning of the promotion ceremony. He lets his emotions control him and during that time, he was angry and moody. And one more incident, another friend of mine, was in-charge in the play that we were supposed to perform and we were supposed to meet and rehearse. He did not attend the rehearsal and when I met him outside, he said that he has some other things to do. You know where I met him? At a nearby McDonalds restaurant, enjoying himself. Some of my good friends also realized how stressful life can be as a Band Major. They are also concerned that my friend, the Drum Major, might bully me and I take all the blame.

Nice Place

YOZ JOURNAL!


Basically, I’m mainly using this journal to record my life as a Band Major. Dunno what that is? Well, its basically being a leader in a military band in Singapore(Cool!). Anyway, my life is pretty stressful balancing work and play with family and friends all at the same time! So one of the reason why I plan to keep a journal is because so that I could voice out my problems, achivements, successes, failures, hates, and love all in this journal. I dont have to contain all my emotions within me. I have good friends to talk to but I just couldn’t find the time to do so. Im soo busy its like im working as a stock broker, lol!. This entry is basically nothing, just to get a hang of it. On Thursday is my promotion ceremony, whereby I will officially be a Band Major, giving out the certificates, badges, sashes, blah blah blah. I dont feel like introducing myself cause i feel its such a cliche. So I guess thats it.