Today i didnt go for the Pal Meeting. I was tired, i got other things to settle quickly and also, at around 9.30am, we got an unexpected visitor, one of my relatives came to our house… you know, hari raya and all that stuff… Luckily i woke up at 9.00am, after i showered and had breakfast, they came. It was very unexpected. Anyway, they left at around 10.30am, leaving me with no choice but to not go for the meeting anyway.
I did promise to mizael that we are going to compile out journals to make into our own little autobiography right? well, yeah.. im still keeping it and today i dunno why, but ive got the inspiration to make a new blog and transfer all my entries from the easyjournal to that new blog then if ive got the time, hopefully, maybe i can do minor touch ups and edits and compile it into .doc file. Hmm.. interesting notion.. i might see what i can do about it.
I think one of the most tumultous years was during sec school, i was the band major, it was difficult and thinking back, i never really did know, where i get all the energy and the drive to achieve wat ive become of the band today and for myself. thinking back, where is my source of inspiration? Who is my role model? What drives me forward? Who drives me forward? Why do i do all these things for the sake of the school? Will i be able to bring that drive and energy to my new CCA, Pal? Am i ready to take once more another step into the unknown? Will i suffer more setbacks? Will my past negative experience and fears affect the decisions i make? Will i be able to have that level of commitment to my new CCA? Already, i have a post, year one… its a daunting task if that post is big. To tell you the truth, im not prepared just yet to deliver what is expected of me to the CCA… and to those who have the impression that ive already given up, youre soo wrong. Im really trying to fit in and its very difficult.